French Connections

Bonjour and Happy Holidays, Fasholes! (Hello? Anybody there? Gulp.) First of all: holy %*#@(, I’ve been a slacker. I haven’t posted on here in a month? My apologies, well-dressed readers. While I know this lack of FASHOLES reporting might just be unforgivable, rest assured on this Christmas Eve that in the many days since you last heard from me, I maintained the lofty style standards expected of an editor of a fashion blog – especially one that makes fun of other people. I promise that I will atone for the long delay by posting more often over the winter break.

Since my last entry, I’ve realized that I was probably French in a past life – hopefully, a sexy French double-agent who wears fishnet stockings, great sunglasses, and a lot of black eyeliner, and spends her free time luring impeccably dressed James Bond types into thick, mysterious fogs – because my recent fashion choices seem to consistently reflect French style. As I get dressed these days, I envy and imagine the sophisticated, effortless style of Paris, where fashion seems to reflect classic beauty rather than the temporary (and sometimes horrid) trends on this side of the Atlantic. You have to admit, if France is famous for something other than disliking Americans, it’s fashion (or fromage, or smelling poorly, or rampant smoking). However, unlike the massive generalizations I’ve mentioned inside the parentheses, the fashion part is true, at least in my opinion. Paris, an international center of fashion, is famous for the best perfume, the sexiest underwear, the most scrumptious pastries, and the most fashionable clothes in the world. (Yes, I snuck something in there about pastries – so sue me. I went to Paris in the winter of 2006, and I can confirm that they’re fantastic. Oh, and their chocolate ain’t too shabby, either.) France has given us Edith Piaf, Brigette Bardot, Marie Curie, Napoleon, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Julie Delpy and Audrey Tautou; it gave us crepes, the beret, the chignon, the atomizer, Vogue, je ne se quoi, Louis Vuitton, Hermes, Christian Lacroix, Yves Saint-Laurent, Dior, Givenchy, and Coco Chanel, who once said that "simplicity is the keynote of all elegance” and one of my personal favorite fashion quotes, “always take off one thing before you leave the house.” Climatic scenes from the fashion-centric film “The Devil Wears Prada” and TV show “Sex in the City” had to take place, obviously, in Paris. In fact, I suspect the first time a gay man ever told a woman that her dress looked “fabulous” also happened in Paris.*

I found a video on YouTube today of a U.K. talk show (hosted by the intern Hugh Grant crushed on in “Love Actually” that featured three Brits who travel to Paris to investigate the style and beauty secrets of Parisian women, whom the host dubbed, “the most beautiful and stylish women in the world.” Whether you agree with this or not, I highly recommend looking into French style if you’re enticed by anything classy, soft, shiny, very detailed, and whether you’re into a look that’s feminine or fierce. I’m not sure just what it is, but when I venture into this style and put together the right outfit, I’m transformed into someone else – someone infinitely more sophisticated, intriguing, stylish and complex, if only for a moment.

Here are some of my favorite looks:
-Black patterned stockings (dark purple works as well)
-Tall black suede boots (very warm in the winter)
-Long, kimono-styled/wrap sweaters
-Flowers/pins to decorate your coat (makes the same old winter coat feel new again!)
-Black liquid eyeliner (duh) OR bright lipstick (both is too much)
-Chandelier earrings
-Belts (thick or thin, and especially with skirts and a tucked-in blouse of some sort)

(*In doing my research for this post, I googled “Famous French celebrities,” and what came up made me laugh: The first celeb named was “Juliette Brioche.”)

Dear Fasholes Readers: May you sleep safe and sound, all snug in your beds, as visions of samples sales dance in your heads. Happy Holidays from our staff, and stay tuned for my "Best/Worst Fashion of the Year" post!