Fazes of a Fashole

First, forgive me for the improper use of the letter "F." Creativity is generally shunned upon during my day job, so this is my pathetic way of rebelling.

If you're into fashion, you have probably been watching this lackluster season of Project Runway on Lifetime. Television for Women! Um, excuse me, but Project Runway always has been and always should be television for women, gays, and drama queens.We knew this season would be worse for the wear when Lifetime began airing those ridiculous promos showing contestants stressing over their materials in black and white, and surmising how everything they've pushed for in life has led to this. very. moment. Luckily those god-awful sentimental commercials stopped airing as soon as the show started. But then of course, more trouble began, and it's rather fitting that the best villain that TELEVISION FOR WOMEN! can give us is Irina, who um, gives dirty looks to her competitors (girls are SUCH bitches!) Gone were the zany antics of Santino "What happened to Andre?" Rice and the awesome Kara Saun telling off Wendy Pepper for selling her soul.

Anyway, back on topic: I keep running into this picture of the final 3 that came as a surprise to nobody: Althea Harper, Carol Hannah Whitfield, and Irina Shaba-I'm too lazy to look up her last name right now.

WHY are the final 3 dressed this way?! Did they not realize this was a publicity photo? They remind me of different phases myself as a young fashole, trying to find my way.

Irina appears to be wearing Dora the Explorer's dress-up dress. It's dark brown with pastel flowers on it, is has ruffles (Nikolas, cover your eyes!), and underneath, a green-gray t-shirt from G+G. I guess her traditional father would have been none to pleased if she didn't cover the boobies. This just doesn't make sense to me; Irina has been consistent all season, and is GORGEOUS, I don't mind saying. Frequently, fashion designers dress over the top and weird, and make you go, "Who the F would wear that?!" But this? This is just BAD. She should have ditched the t-shirt, donned a denim jacket and cowboy boots and just gone for it. Her amazing hair would have offset any unkind remarks about looking too costumey.

Althea is me as a high school junior, totally convinced that wearing a leopard-print bra underneath a wifebeater is omgsohot. The fact that the phrase "leopard-print" and "wifebeater" are in the same sentence describing a designer-hopeful is more than troublesome. Althea looks like she lives between the Connors and the Bundys; picture a sash over her shoulder reading Miss Grand White Trash Supreme. Also, it appears that she stole Logan's pants.

Least offensive is my personal favorite for the season, Carol Hannah, who looks kind of like I do when I care but I just don't have enough time. Distressed jeans with a hole WAY up there (nothing like flashing a bit of skinny, pale thigh!) a navy tank, and a thick gold belt. Those belts are pretty much done, aren't they? Although I have to admit, I will still rock that look when I'm feeling especially skinny, because who knows when that opportunity will come again. Also, this season was shot like 5 bajillion years ago. Still, I have a sneaking suspicion that Carol Hannah's belt is not a belt, but a piece of leftover fabric from Mood that she threw on immediately after the loved-'round-the-word Tim Gunn came in and said, "Designers! It's time to shoot the publicity photo for the final 3! Gather 'round!"

Since I'm here, I guess I'll make a prediction for this week's season finale: Irina for the win, Carol Hannah in second, Althea in third. A lot of people don't want Irina to win because she's mean, but let's face it, she has a right to be snotty in this so-called competition. I still hope Carol Hannah wins though, because she really never made anything I didn't like, and she just does the work and stays out of the catfights. Gotta love that.