Nov 23, 2009
Measurements? I don't give a damn.
While many of you may browse online blogs for more intellectual fare, I NEED Perez Hilton to escape reality for a little while. Just like I need mint Milanos. Like I need Starbucks. Like the deserts miss the rain. What I don't need to know, however, are my "measurements." Come on. Look at poor Scarlett over there. Does SHE look like she wants to be measured in the three areas of the body that like, 99 percent of women obsess over? No. Actually, she kinda looks like she wants to kick somebody in the nuts.
Enter ModCloth, a fashion website specializing in "Mod, retro and indie clothing." (Cue combination sigh/eye-roll from Laura.) But wait! This is not, say a poor-woman's Urban Outfitters. This is like, actually cute-looking stuff; some of it might actually be called GORGEOUS. I mean, yes, alright, some pieces are heinous. But, as Laura pointed out in her most recent post, even Neiman-freakin'-Marcus has its fair share of fashion heinousness.
Also, ModCloth has really awesome names for its stuff, like
its "Tulle There was You," and "Pleats and Thank You" dresses,
or its "Crazy Little Thing Called Glove" (you guessed it) gloves. OK, I'm a dork who clearly just wants to look like Zooey Deschanel if she just happened to guest star on "Mad Men." So sue me.
However, most of the items that I'm drooling over on ModCloth are dresses, but I have no idea what size to order. I don't normally buy clothes online. (When I want something, I can't wait 3-5 business days! I want it NOWWWWWW, DADDY! [And Veruca falls down into the furnace with her golden goose egg!] However, sometimes busy schedules restrict us Fasholes from doing as much "real" shopping as we'd like, so concessions do have to be made.
So, yeah. I have no idea what size dress I am here. They have S/M/L, which just confuses things further, and the only help they offer is a 1-800 number and a chart that you can click on that correlates S/M/L to your measurements. I'm sorry, measurements? What is this, 1865 Savannah? What's next, the triumphant return of the girdle?
OK, I'm done.
On a side note:
Hurrah, Friday is the most psychotic shopping day of the year! Personally, I'd love to find a black peacoat and knee-high black boots on sale. Fasholes, which stores or specific fashion items are you targeting on I-Saw-Them-First-Give-Me-That-Last-Pair-of-70%-Off-Earmuffs-Or-I-Will-Fucking-Kill-You Friday?
Safe shopping to all.
(Above Left: Promise Keeper Dress, $74.99, ModCloth.com; Above Right: Scarlett O'Hara is fucking pissed; Lower Left: Not even worth captioning.)